What Art Is To Me

by Marvin Sides

Thank you first for this great opportunity to share what art means to me. There is great power in the design and focus of art. Art simply means an expression of oneself. that can be displayed in any form and is not bound by the simplicity of interpretation. Art has been the vehicle of my connection, healing and service. Through art I have discovered a community of others knowingly or not, and also healed, expressed and found myself.

My journey in art began by chance as I was walking through a field of sunflowers. When I stepped out of this majestic forest, I happened upon an old rickety barn, the kind that has vines of blackberries laced with grapes growing up the walls to dusty broken windows and probably should be condemned. To my great advantage it was not, and my curiosity found a way inside with a bit of struggle. As I explored the dark musty building, I found a box with paint and brushes in an old cola box. I dragged them outside to see what treasures I found. Like the barn this set was old, dusty and funny smelling. I found a broken board from a crumbled fence, sat under an apple tree, and for the first time I painted. The subject matter was obvious because I had the best inspiration in the barn and field of sunflowers. Of course, my young mind was impressed by the quality of work I had achieved. When I was satisfied with my work, I tucked the board and paints away for a later day and a secret of this hidden oasis. Unfortunately, being in foster care I moved a lot, and I wouldn’t get the chance to explore that painting or place again. However, it was then that I found sanctuary in art. Even then, I recognized how calm and distracted I felt when I was lost in the creative process.

As time moved on in my life, the only constant was my art in drawings, sculptures, carvings, writing, and many other mediums. Having little resources, I had to be quite creative in materials for use. Mud and pine needles made the perfect porcupine. Collecting all the pencils and paper unused by other kids at the end of a school year provided me with the tools I needed to doodle through the next year. Winning a couple competitions in grade school solidified my desire to draw and create, which I stayed true to throughout all of my young life.

At 18, I committed a terrible crime and took the life of another. I was driven into a deep depression. It was through art that I could slowly find the space within myself to quiet my mind and the anguish I felt. As we who are incarcerated know, jail only provides you with golf pencils, a pink eraser, a few sheets of paper. Interestingly, the creative can discover M and M’s can be used to make watercolor paint to give the art some pop, along with some high praise for the “outside the box thinking.”

It was during this time that I saw how sharing art builds bridges with families, brings joy to people, and I could teach others, which was a great distraction from the stresses of an uncertain future for all of us. Getting a “thank you, my family loved that envelope drawing/card” made my day.

After I was sentenced to a long term, I knew I had to make changes in my life. It was education, work and of course decades of art as my main tool of healing. By using this art, doors opened to me in ways I could not fathom. At first every moment I wasn’t in school or work I was drawing, often even during these programs. I would often get asked “how to” draw something. It was in this early helping that I found joy in teaching others. Besides, I was able to cross through barriers that I saw others struggle with around the racial divide within the prison system. In an unlikely way and place, folks started coming together around art as differences were put aside and stories could be shared. All I wanted was to contribute to this creative process however it developed.

Today, I see art everywhere in our prison. In staff offices, in administration, in visitation, it decorates the outside walls of our main buildings for folks to be reminded and inspired by our cultures. Art decorates the walls inside our units to inspire growth and our sense of humanity. I’m part of an art teaching program for folks who have learning disabilities. We also have an art program for violence awareness. We have been able to build this amazing coalition around art in this facility. I’m able to create art that helps raise funds for a variety of organizations and scholarships. I get to participate in making retirement plaques for staff and officers. I’ve even been awarded for art that now hangs within DOC headquarters, a reentry program, a local museum and other places, as well as work with others that help children in need through a toy making program we do every year.

Yes, in art there is this element of creative expression,but for me art is much more than a poem, drawing, painting, sculpture or any one specific design. Art is a sanctuary where the mind is quieted and the core self can be met. Art is a place of healing, connection and service to others, where I have learned to be accountable to my actions and as a means to make amends to the communities inside and out of prison. What I have found in art is meditation, community, and most importantly myself.

Thank you for your time and for offering me this opportunity.

Marvin Sides is currently incarcerated and is a participant of The Art of Soulmaking program. He has a deep and passionate relationship to art and seeing the art in every person, place and circumstance.