The Red Thread, a limbic connection between women all over the world

by Cara Joy Brand

We tie a red thread around each other’s wrist at every Women Over Dinner, no matter where you are in the world. It represents the limbic connection that all women have. Women Over Dinner is a global movement and an evening experience of intimacy and power as women. What we create together at a dinner is the very nutrient the world is most in need of. These dinners originally started when our founder Nicole Daedone wrote a women’s manifesto and shared it with her close friend Angel Grant. Angel founded Death Over Dinner, which has had over 200,000 Dinners across the globe. The woman manifesto presented the radical notion that women have inestimable power. Angel was deeply moved and called Nicole to say if you want to use the process of Death Over Dinner, I’ll give you the intellectual property rights to adapt for women. Of course, Nicole immediately said yes. Nicole is Sicilian, so she understands women and food and love and sex, and that they aren’t separate things but are all connected. And if we are going to build a real women’s movement that is based on fulfillment, then it is going to be built on spontaneous and intentional connection and intimacy between women. So here we are. Women Over Dinner is a continuation of these conversations where “the most important part” gets to come forward. It gets to be felt and known. We get to live from it, raise our children as it, transform imbalances and suffering through it. We get to remember together what is most vital: that we are the jewel; we are the thing that everyone is seeking.

Every woman is invited to the table.

Then we begin. We go in a round, giving a “Noticing” to the person to our left. A noticing is simply something we notice when we put our full attention on a woman, it can be anything like: “The first thing I noticed about you was how welcoming you felt,” to “I notice your eyes are bright, and there is a flush to your cheeks.”

The person being noticed just says “Thank You.” Receiving attention can sometimes be challenging, so in this round we practice stretching our capacity to let attention in. Next, the table lead guides through the curated Women Over Dinner questions. These questions are designed to be thought-provoking and sensational. We go around the table, one question per round, and answer as many questions as possible in 30-45 minutes. We simply say, “Thank you,” after each share and then move our attention to the next person.

We close by giving a reflection to the person to our right this time. A reflection is like a mirror. You give a reflection by choosing a specific moment from the dinner that you remember of the woman to your right. You describe the moment, and then reflect how it made you feel. Here is an example of a reflection. “There was a moment when your posture changed as you were talking about standing up for yourself, and I felt my own strength surface.” Or, another example would be, “There was a moment when you said you wanted to start selling your art, and I felt my own inner artist cheering for you.” If you’re receiving a reflection, again you just say “Thank You.”

There is a Red Thread on the table. As each woman gives her reflection, she ties the thread to the other woman’s left wrist as a reminder of how we are all connected.

Women have beautiful experiences.

Women feel changed by something in the evening.

Women have the thought at some point in the evening, oh my god I want every woman to get to have this experience.

That was the same experience I had when I went to my first dinner two years ago. I started hosting my own dinners in Hawaii and flying into NY, LA, Austin, to help with the bigger dinners. Without fail, at every WOD that I have been to I see the same thing. The same things happen but in unique ways each time.

The thing that I see is women feeling relaxed and free and open in a way where their inner beauty and genius can express and come out. This is vital in the world right now. Women must remember their power. I have to tell you that I have heard the most beautiful testimonials that literally make me cry so I have first hand knowledge of how effective these dinners are in unlocking something for women, something that belongs to them in an ongoing way.

You already may know Women Over Dinner is a nonprofit and all of it is donation based. Everything we do is kept going by women who touched the thing that happens at a dinner, got inspired and started supporting in a variety of ways to make it something that continues. There is a whole community around fundraising, donating, and support to keep this flame alive and well in the world. So I’m inviting you to become a part of that community of keepers of the flame, who ensure that as many women as possible all over the world get to have access to this movement.

I invite you to stand with your sisters in this revolutionary time of women rising.
If that’s contributing $25 or $2500, volunteering your time or hosting your own dinner, my offer is: join the movement of making Women Over Dinner thrive so that all women can remember we are the jewel.

Our desire is to reach 100 million women and one way is to have women, in other words, you, begin hosting these dinners in your homes, in your communities, even at your favorite restaurants, continuing to build the intimacy and connection between women. You can host with women you know or new women.

Cara Joy Brand is a leader of Women Over Dinner and of the Women are Power women’s Movement. She’s an Eros Consultant teaching Orgasmic Meditation, Eros Sutras and S Factor in Los Angeles, CA.