The Gift of Women Over Dinner

by Aneka Theloade

Two years ago, I was invited to the first-ever Women Over Dinner in New York. I live in London, England, and an invitation to dinner in another country was mind-blowing to me! Travel was only opening back up after the pandemic, which made the invitation that much more sensational, and I wondered if I could really give myself permission to fly to New York for a three-hour event. In many ways, you could say that was Women Over Dinner’s first gift to me. Saying “yes” to that invitation transformed how I related to myself, something the dinners have come to represent for me.

Women over Dinner is subtle and simple but completely life-altering. I still haven’t been able to wrap my head around how answering a series of questions about our relationship to our power, purpose, and sexuality, with no one interrupting us or offering feedback, but only witnessing, can leave a table of women feeling so deeply connected and changed at depth. But that is precisely what happens, and what I notice is that for many, there is a recognition of something forgotten in the shares of other women and a falling away of the illusion of separateness. Just for those 90 minutes, there is a palpable reconnecting of the disparate parts of self as reflected in the stories of other women.

Since that dinner two years ago, I have co-hosted a dinner in London attended by more than 50 women and attended many more in New York. Each time, what initially occurs as a straightforward three-course meal becomes a crucible of women’s joy and a celebration of connection. There are always tears, harrowing but relatable shares, and the personal clunk of recognition as a part of the puzzle of our lives falls into place with an insight or reflection.

I have had people ask me how something like Women Over Dinner could be the foundation of a new women’s movement. “Isn’t it too simple?” they ask. “Shouldn’t it offer tools and solutions for solving the problems women face?” And I give it my best shot to explain that Women Over Dinner has started a women’s movement rooted in feminine principles—it reminds women that their power and resilience are inherent, not given by someone or something outside of themselves, that their strength and joy are in sisterhood and community and that problems reframed as challenges give access to creativity and purpose, and craft a story of inspiration that can be shared with others as they navigate what can seem like their own obstacles. These “tools” offered as an experience remind women, one dinner at a time, that they are the gift the world has been waiting for.

Aneka Theolade is a writer and teacher who lives in London with her husband, three adult children, and grandson.