by Jeremy Craft
I’ll admit that I was kind of skeptical about this course at first because there are so many faith based programs out there that claim to help people but hardly ever do.
I’ll admit that taking this course was probably the best decision I’ve ever made since coming to prison. I’ve discovered things about myself that I never knew existed. I no longer feel the need to pretend to be something or someone I’m not, or be angry at others because of my past. My perspective on life has shifted a bit as well.
I live with the fact that I’ll probably spend the rest of my life here. I’ll never get to hug my mom again. I’ll never get to make a baby smile or hold an elderly person’s hand. I’ll never get to experience love or heartbreak from a broken relationship. I’ll never get to experience the things that people complain about these days. All because of one foolish mistake when I was 21 years old and was racing through life without purpose or a sense of direction. Although I don’t remember the incident that I’m accused of due to my drug abuse, I still take full responsibility nonetheless.
The Art of Soulmaking has helped me find peace in my situation. I’m here in this cell and I’ll be here. What I must do now is find purpose.I’ve learned throughout this course that being hateful and upset at others is really more detrimental to my own mental health. Being angry at the world won’t change my problems.
It’s hard to accept that ‘Everything happens for a reason’ but I’ve come to realize that I see the reckless kid that I used to be in these young guys that come into the system today. I suddenly feel compelled to give out advice while trying to encourage and inspire becauseI never had that in my life. In fact, I’ve been in and out of the system since I was 11 years old, so I’ve never even really had a chance to live life.
I no longer feel anger at officers who just come to do their jobs. I no longer feel fear of the unknown. I no longer feel the pain and the suicidal thoughts that once clouded my head. I also no longer stress and worry about things I have no control over.
If a person takes this course and doesn’t get anything out of it , then they’re just a lost cause and they need to be sent to Mars on the next SpaceX Mars mission:-) lol
I’ve never been a religious person, so the whole idea of God speaking to me is still a mystery. Maybe he doesn’t deal with lost causes like me. Maybe I’ve burned down my bridges and there’s no turning back. Or, maybe I’m not worthy enough. Who knows?
I hear about all of the blessings that people receive, and I’m always wondering when my blessing will come or if I’ll ever get one.. So, religion has never been a thing for me. The Art of Soulmaking has given me another reason to believe in myself. I’ve been in solitary for 14+ years, and I’ve never really wanted to do anything with myself because I accepted that this was it for me.
Now I realize that this doesn’t have to be it for me. It doesn’t have to be it for anyone who has the opportunity to enroll in this course and become a part of something life altering and bigger than themselves.
For those who find themselves feeling alone, lonely, unloved, misunderstood, unappreciated and at their lowest point in life, please know that you’re not alone and you don’t have to continue feeling so. Join the UF project. Change a life. Make a difference! Give someone hope who feels as if their situation is hopeless. Walk beside someone on their journey because no one should be alone. No one should have to travel through life alone either.
Other than that you guys are dope! I’m sending lots of love and positive energy to everyone who makes a difference at the UF project. Hopefully by the time it reaches you, a blessing would fall on your head with your name on one:-)
I look forward to sharing my story with you. I also look forward to being part of this movement for as long as you’ll allow me to be.
Love and respect,
Jeremy
Jeremy Craft has been in solitary confinement since 2011. He is completing the Art of Soulmaking on his prison tablet and was inspired to put pen to paper and talk about the impact the program is having on him. Jeremy had an awakening when he started his meditation practice seeing clearly that his situation was not hopeless but full of possibilities.